"Wait a bit, she says..."

Oh man, I'm in a funk. I guess even when you're doing what you love, you can still fall into the funks. In all honesty, I feel kind of lonely. I know it's very common, especially in your twenties, to sacrifice your personal life for your career. It's definitely at least partially that.. and partially that I've either pushed away anyone close, or I haven't made time for friends. I can't stop questioning myself and everything around me lately. I thought this was supposed to be a brief hiatus from my quarter-life crisis!

I rarely sing in the car or in the shower, unless I'm warming up, but lately I've been singing on the way home from the theatre. Tonight, the words came out simultaneously with tears, as I sang a song that means a lot to me. An old voice teacher gave me this song about 6 years ago, knowing it described me pretty well then. I was hoping I would grow out of the character in this song, but it looks like not much has changed. This song is called "Wait a Bit" and it's from a musical based on the Just So stories, so the character is a bird...

Why are those things you admire most in others the hardest to find in yourself?
What is it about me that seems to determine I'm destined to life on the shelf?
This wait a bit character waiting to find whatever it is that I lack
Whenever they ask the real me to step forwards, the real me takes a step back

Wait a bit, she says
Can't do it, she says
Wait a bit, she says, not really knowing what she's waiting for
While he's outgoing, why do I withdraw?
Without conviction, and yet somehow sure
the contradiction that will stay in my mind till the day that I find something more

I'm searching for something they say is within me, yet seems to be hidden from sight
But why should I search when it's not in my nature to come out and stand in the light?
For my expectations are not all that great, just one dream I had hoped to fulfill
And yet, when it came to the moment of truth, I proved to myself I must still

wait a bit. Am I just not fit to fly?
When I came to try, I watched the others as they soared and rose
It seemed so effortless, but then, who knows?
Beneath the surface, sometimes torment grows
I plucked up courage, for I knew I should fledge
So I stood on the edge
And I froze

A flightless bird gets by without the flight,
but still I'm hoping that someday I might
He made me feel I could soar
Now only one thing's for sure
I'll have to wait a bit more