Moving forward. We hear so much about how we should, how we need to, how it will help. Sometimes moving forward is the hardest thing to do. We can convince ourselves we have. We can convince ourselves that we don't dwell on the past, that we don't think about that person or that event or that feeling, but in most cases, we do. We have a dream about it, or we see something that reminds us, which is almost inevitable. So does moving forward really mean coming to terms with a situation or a feeling? This is the way it is, this is the way it is going to be, and now I can take my next step.
We all make mistakes. I know I try so hard to avoid upsetting people, but it happens, and it always will. I've made a lot of mistakes, and most of them were based on fear. A fear of being hurt can cause more grief than you would have had without the fear. I've lost a lot of friendships in my life because of my fears. I've been fortunate enough to meet some amazing people, and have some amazing experiences. Unfortunately, I never took full advantage. I don't want to constantly stop myself from being happy, even if that happiness may eventually turn into hurt.
Clearly, I love quotes, but one of my favorite quotes of all time is from the Sondheim musical "Company" - "Don't be afraid that it won't be perfect. The only thing to be afraid of, really, is that it won't be."
Now if I could just follow my own advice.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
"Our twenties are like a Neverland between childhood and adulthood." -Christine Hassler
Clearly it's been way too long since I've updated. Surprisingly enough, I've been very busy. I got a full time job, and I just closed another show. And this all sounds way better than it actually is, of course.
My job is very difficult and takes a lot out of me, to say the least. I also get paid very close to minimum wage, which means the chances of me moving out anytime soon are pretty close to 0%. However, it's something, and it makes me feel somewhat worthwhile, and I can afford the drinks I need after a week there.
I just closed a run of Annie last weekend. Like any one month run of Annie, you're not incredibly sad to stop hearing those same songs over and over again, but I must say, I am pretty sad that it's over. Not only does being in a show give me a creative outlet, but it also gives me a group of people to socialize with. I'll see most of them again, but like most community theatre casts, we all have a bunch of other things on our plates. Still, I'm going to audition for the next show there. I need it right now. The theatre is still one of the only places I feel at home.
My workplace is actually closed today (we only have off for the 10? federal holidays), and of course as much as I deserve a day of nothingness, I feel the need to be productive. I went to the bookstore, hoping to find something to keep my mind busy, and ended up in the self improvement section. Clearly I ended up there for a reason.. and I found it. I couldn't not bring it home. It practically said "to the writer of the Twenty Something Kvetch" on the cover. It's called "20 Something, 20 Everything: A Quarter-Life Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction" by Christine Hassler. Bullshit? Maybe. But I can't afford not to try. I'm only on page 21, but I was so inspired already that I had to come back to my blog. What I've gotten so far is the drastic difference between a man and a woman's quarter-life crisis. Hassler brings up valid points about the expectations of women, and how we're really the first generation to experience the crisis in this way. She promises to help answer 3 questions, which she refers to as the twenties triangle- Who am I? What do I want? How do I get what I want? Let's hope she fulfills this promise, because I don't even have somewhat of an answer for any of those questions.
My promise is to update this blog with the verdict. So off to read I go...
My job is very difficult and takes a lot out of me, to say the least. I also get paid very close to minimum wage, which means the chances of me moving out anytime soon are pretty close to 0%. However, it's something, and it makes me feel somewhat worthwhile, and I can afford the drinks I need after a week there.
I just closed a run of Annie last weekend. Like any one month run of Annie, you're not incredibly sad to stop hearing those same songs over and over again, but I must say, I am pretty sad that it's over. Not only does being in a show give me a creative outlet, but it also gives me a group of people to socialize with. I'll see most of them again, but like most community theatre casts, we all have a bunch of other things on our plates. Still, I'm going to audition for the next show there. I need it right now. The theatre is still one of the only places I feel at home.
My workplace is actually closed today (we only have off for the 10? federal holidays), and of course as much as I deserve a day of nothingness, I feel the need to be productive. I went to the bookstore, hoping to find something to keep my mind busy, and ended up in the self improvement section. Clearly I ended up there for a reason.. and I found it. I couldn't not bring it home. It practically said "to the writer of the Twenty Something Kvetch" on the cover. It's called "20 Something, 20 Everything: A Quarter-Life Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction" by Christine Hassler. Bullshit? Maybe. But I can't afford not to try. I'm only on page 21, but I was so inspired already that I had to come back to my blog. What I've gotten so far is the drastic difference between a man and a woman's quarter-life crisis. Hassler brings up valid points about the expectations of women, and how we're really the first generation to experience the crisis in this way. She promises to help answer 3 questions, which she refers to as the twenties triangle- Who am I? What do I want? How do I get what I want? Let's hope she fulfills this promise, because I don't even have somewhat of an answer for any of those questions.
My promise is to update this blog with the verdict. So off to read I go...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
