Tuesday, October 13, 2009

"Lack of money is the root of all evil." - George Bernard Shaw

I have always been a wannabe hippie. Along with my desire to be a hippie came my hatred for money. This is ironic, considering I grew up as an upper middle class child on Long Island, and had everything I could ask for and more. I couldn't wait to graduate with a bachelor of fine arts in theatre and live off of Ramen and cans of tuna. That never happened. Instead, I got entangled in a messy web of broken promises, and an apartment I could never afford. That led me back home to live with my mom and stepfather. There are definitely worse things, and they treat me (and my pup) very well. I only turned 24 last week, but all of a sudden a large handful of people I grew up with or went to college with are getting/got married. They all have jobs and places of their own. They have things as in order as they could be in your early to mid twenties. And I'm envious, and concerned...

No, I don't want to be married right now. I don't even think I'm in a place to be in a relationship. I just never realized how important money is, basically...which makes me envious of anyone who has it somewhat together right now. I honestly don't know what to do next. There is a program I'd love to do, and they would definitely help me find a job after. I'm just not sure if it's a financial commitment I should make right now. Any job I could get after would be very entry level, if not an internship. Yes, I would probably love what I was doing. No, I would not easily get out of this financial ditch I have dug for myself.

Should I sell my car? What about my eggs? I'm getting desperate. And very sad.

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